I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
