So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
