Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
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