I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
