this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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