And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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