Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
