My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize