hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
