fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
