Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize