piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize