He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
