Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
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Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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