I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
