call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize