I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
