Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
