Duck Duck Cougar?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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