I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
