Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
