perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
