my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do vagina's smell?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
