what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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