I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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