he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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