Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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