i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
