Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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