I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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