YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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