he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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