My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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