I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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