I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
