Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize