listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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