Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
