another moral hangover. fuck.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
