Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
vagina is talking i cant
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
