I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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