my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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