I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
