final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
