As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
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The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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