we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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