im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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