Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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