i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Can I color on your dick again?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
