Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize