i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
