Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
