Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize