Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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