3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
