I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
