I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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