Someone shit on the floor
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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