Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
